I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
