How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
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