Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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