it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I just had sex on a roof
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
