So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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