i think my mom watched the whole time
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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