dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
