This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
