yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
