turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
