I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Randomize
