I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
