And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
