Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize
