Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
