New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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