it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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