Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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