im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
