Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Boobs speak an international language.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
