Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
How's work?
Spinning.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
