Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
