Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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