2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
