i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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