I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
