billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
When did we convert life to cartoon?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
