For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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