Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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