I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
