"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
