According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
This is my gift to your gina
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
