yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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