you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Randomize
