so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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