We named our party play list daddy issues
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
