All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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