I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
