I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I stole a fireplace last night.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
