She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
