I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Randomize
