you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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