I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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