this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
