I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
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