If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
