home. puking in laundry basket.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
