you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
