We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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