Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i wish my penis had a tongue
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
