they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
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