Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
