with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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