god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
How's work?
Spinning.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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