I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
