i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
so let's talk penis.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
