i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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