I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Do you still have your period?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I love having hate sex.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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