Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
